Religious Attachments Again
I’ve been amazed over the last few days at how many folk have visited my old Post ‘ How To Recognize Dysfunctional Religious Attachments’. One commentator thought the title a bit of a mouthful, better used for the title of a thesis perhaps! Don’t I just love honesty on the blogosphere! Of course the young lady in question has a valid point, so from now on my post titles will be much shorter and snappier!
So why more on dysfunctional religious attachments?
Well, simply because many of us still appear to have a psycho-spiritual itch that no-one has dared put a name to. To do so would risk immediate expulsion from the religious flock of choice. Since I’m long gone from the power plays of Sunday morning faith life I’ll step forward and put my Irish spiritual neck on the religious block. So, here goes:
Attachments are the invisible chords that hold us into a psychological dependency on a group, person or thing. Usually though they operate best on a person-to-person basis, often in the disguise of undying love or admirable commitment. They appear to be the chords of love but are far from it, for true love is cordless, releasing the beloved to roam at will. You can see why these attachments attach themselves to the matters of religious belief and practice. It’s a great breeding ground for them as they try to hide in the respectable setting of God and His people.
Attachments are clever little creatures. They can adapt chameleon-like to whatever surroundings they find themselves in. There are Catholic attachments, Protestant attachments, Orthodox attachments, Pentecostal attachments, non denominational attachments etc, etc. Even in the heightened environs of those who claim to practice authentic Christianity in their recovered New Testament church models lurk the dreaded attachments with their insidious attempt to lock up sincere folk within the Matrix of metaphysical desire.
Matrix? Where did that come from? Well, if you’ve seen the movie you’ll remember the shocking setting; rows and rows, tier after tier of embryonic bodies having the life sucked out of them by the merciless machines, as they dreamed of normal life. So to in our religious life?
I believe so.
As we sit in our pews or cushioned plastic seats each Sunday morning we’re lining up to suck a metaphysical certainty of sorts out of our pastor, preacher, priest in exchange for our loyalty. In other words, he/she dishes out the faith and we keep coming and perhaps more importantly, paying.
The psychic glue that keeps the whole sacred attachment show on the road is of course desire and its insidious offspring expectation. We want to know God. Wonderful! Yet this is not a desire in isolation – it has a not so hidden context. We want to know God like Pastor Joe or Rev. Jones or Sister Mary or ……….. This is the key to our dependency, the attachment that locks us into a quasi-like devotion to those who appear to dispense the very life of God. Of course any of us who’ve willingly played the role of spiritual dispenser on a professional basis knows that although we work for God we are in fact chained to our people for both authentication, approval and cash flow. Like a quick-sand that pulls one down into the darkness of death, the ministry game, whether paid or hobby-like in nature has many skeletons in its white-washed cupboards.
Well Dylan, that’s all very well but thankfully I only depend on Jesus!
Wonderful, but may I humbly make a couple of perhaps pointed observations:
1) If you genuinely depend on Jesus why not try giving up attendance at religious services or meetings for the next three months. I respectfully suggest that you might experience some cold turkey symptoms linked to people or group dependency on your newly acquired, quiet Sunday mornings.
2) I wonder if Jesus, or Yeshua as his Jewish mum called him, wants you to be dependent on him. Was the goal of the Nazarene to have a multitude of followers trailing like little puppy dogs or a band of brothers and sisters to join him in the Divine Dance?
Sadly most of us only realize our addictions when we try to give up the substance concerned. I’m sitting here in Cafe Nero, ( I know, not a great name for Christians!), my local coffee shop with my regular Americano in hand. If I’d skipped it this morning I’d most certainly have a headache by 1 p.m. So too with our religious habits.
What is it in our spiritual life that deep down we suspect we’re dependent on? What has hooked us into a religious dependency that we just can’t admit? Many of us, fueled by a fear of rejection, will fight tooth and nail for our spiritual fixes in the guise of zealous God lovers.
As we let go of our various religious Attachments it can appear that our spiritual life is about to rapidly go down the drain of non belief.
Not so.
Alone in our vulnerability we shall feel the Divine Hand reach out to lead us in the Dance of Life. The Dancer and the Dance, a celebration of Union and freedom; the freedom to be and to give Love, no strings attached.
Writer Dylan Morrison 
We really don’t need a medium between us and divine Love. But it’s so tempting and subtle sometimes, so I thank you for shining your flashlight right in its insidious face, Dylan!
Thanks for your encouragement Amy. Indeed Divine Love is well able to communicate with man without the religious or indeed Mind, Body, Spirit trappings that proliferate.
Blessings
Dylan
Hi Dylan. Whilst I’m not a religious person (any more), I find attachment to Zen traditions hilarious – a tradition in which ‘teachers’ said to let go of attachments. The human mind is a tricksy thing, eh? Some brief thoughts on stillness at a simple new site I’ve created; http://lovelyquiet.wordpress.com/stillness
Hi Michael. Yes this phenomenon of religious attachment can develop within any faith system, even those who foolishly, I believe, claim to have no system. Where is pure Zen? I wonder?
Thanks for the link to your wee site. Will pop over and have a look.
Blessings as always
Dylan
Spiritual witchcraft, that’s what its called.
As you rightly say, true love needs no cords, look at Adam. In love, God permitted him to declare his independence, and make a totally wrong decision. The same is true with the prodigal son. His father let him go.
Yet we are coerced and manipulated into believing that we will lose our salvation if we fail to attend church or transfer our loyalty elsewhere.
That is why I am no longer in church. Like you, I love my freedom in Christ, OUTSIDE THE PRISON CAMP.
My spiritual life, and my relationship with God has grown in leaps and bounds since escaping the system years ago.
The institutional church does not represent Christ. It represents the pastor or denomination.
Thanks for dropping by Francis.Yes, it’s interesting that contrary to religious popular opinion one’s spirituality can thrive outside the normal faith confines. This usually leaves my pastor friends speechless, as it seems to break the Fifth Spiritual Law – ‘One must alaways get up on Sunday morning and go hear the pastor preach!’.
Blessings on the Way!
Dylan
You typed, “As we let go of our various religious Attachments it can appear that our spiritual life is about to rapidly go down the drain of non belief. Not so. Alone in our vulnerability we shall feel the Divine Hand reach out to lead us in the Dance of Life. The Dancer and the Dance, a celebration of Union and freedom; the freedom to be and to give Love, no strings attached.”
As a pastor and his wife, we left our institutional and financial attachments in April of last year. God has of course helped us survive financially, though for a time it did not seem possible. We have been greatly humbled in the past few months by tragedies we never thought possible. We have had very few in the way of friends to help us through these times. And so it is as we have been brought out of them, we still have no community we can join with in our area. And we’ve never shared in a non-traditional type church, so we wouldn’t have the first clue of how to start such a thing. We are waiting and waiting (I guess that it is coming up on a year soon). We still have not felt the guiding Hand for the dance of which you speak. We are waiting, and wondering, “When is God going to lead us to do something? What is the next step and when will we know?” We’ve been through and recovered from our institutional churchianity withdraws. So when is something different going to take place? We know we can’t force it, but this is a frustrating time for us. Any advice would be very appreciated. Please email the response so I will be sure to see it to JamesCharlesSnyder@gmail.com or add me on FB (I’m part of the Organic Church Discussion Group). Thanks in advance.
Hi James.
Thanks for dropping by. Many like you are in the same postion worldwide. How do we adjust to life ‘outside’ the professional ministry? To aid further discussion between us I’ll befriend you on facebook and we’ll chat there! Hope that’s OK.
Blessing
Dylan
Wow. As I was out walking this morning I was having the very same thoughts.
I was also thinking/asking…. why does what my journey looks like matter to a pastor/IC? Why am I only approved of when it fits their grid? It is a masive learning curve being out (nearly 2 years) and I am still in “being” mode. Now and again I wonder should I “do” more, like I used to….and then He reminds me that I am…loving people where they are….not having to “preach”….just loving….and being there….and encouraging….and being real…..and weeping with those who weep..and rejoicing with those who rejoice….I don’t have a large “community” surrounding me to encourage and support, but I have a few very precious ones that are walking on the same road who touch my heart and encourage me…..I am still recognizing those areas in me that are “religious” and laugh when I look back and think of how “free” I thought I was!!! Haha! Thank you Dylan.
I devoured your book….laughed and cried as I recognized myself in there….both the good and bad! I love the way you express yourself….thanks again X Tess
Thank you for adding your lovely comment Tess. Yes, looking back we can laugh as well as cry. I guess we wouldn’t be here today on this blog but for our little adventures in the land of the religious junkie!
Your comment regarding my wee book is most encouraging. many have claimed to have laughed and cried their way through it. I did too.
Blessings
Dylan
Dylan, This is exactly where I am today. I stopped attending Sunday church…three weeks ago…though I have been afraid to quit for fifteen years. My excuse…my precious wife and five children. “My responsibility to be the spiritual leader of our family.” Thankfully, some honest brothers released me to do what I knew in my heart I desperately needed to do. They asked me what was spiritual or godly about resisting what I knew in my heart was the right thing to do. The withdrawal pain is definitely there though I don’t long to be back in church. Its just 50 years of habit and brain wiring does not just let go because I finally got the courage to do the right thing. And…for me, leaving church is all about not settling for a shadow of life..but rather because I refuse to settle for less than the real thing. Thanks so much for sharing your walk and leading the way for many.
Bob.
Lovely to hear from you.You are surein the middle of a paradigm shift big time! It’s not easy but it does reveal how much religious addiction that we’ve carried around for years in the guise of truth and pleasing God.
Your wife and kids will be fine and actually enjoy having a more normal dad around rather than the ‘preacher man’ of mealtimes!
Enjoy all that comes your way in Nature and new relationships! Go for a walk on Sunday mornings – you’ll be surprised and delighted to find the Divine Voice out there with you.
Glad that my wee book resonated and came along at the right time!
Blessings
Dylan
You are so right about ‘alone in our vulnerability.’ For me, it is a way of growth and strength.
Dylan, of course the spiritual life needs no religious attachments. We don’t need a church to belong to Jesus. Nor does Jesus need us to be part of one to love us. But what of human nature? It does seem that no matter what we do in life, be it sports or even a solitary hobby like reading, we look for other people to share it with.
More than 40 years ago a friend told me about a new fellowship he was a part of. It wasn’t a church he said. They didn’t believe in the church and all the religious rules that were associated with the church. All they needed was Jesus. And so they had found other people that agreed with them and they had created a little fellowship for believers who didn’t like church. Skip invited me to come join him and the others. What I found was that they had come together and decided what it was that they shared in common, certain sets of beliefs that they wanted me to agree to as they had, certain procedures for doing things when they got together, even an order to their gathering. I smiled, but I would decline joining their spiritual but not religious non-church fellowship permamently. After all, I was already part of a fellowship of believers where I found all of those things. True, it was called a church. But at least they gave me the freedom to disagree with the majority without implying that I was somehow disruptive of the fellowship.
The nice things about the attachments I had in the church, they loved me because I was attached to Jesus, whereas in my friend’s non-church fellowship group it was also contingent on how much I looked like them.
Brilliantly put – couldn’t have said it better myself!! My family and I have felt the real withdrawals of meeting with a large “church” group – yes, we were addicts!! I have even been saying to myself over the years “This is not what God had in mind for CHURCH” We have been free for about 5 years but still feel a little lonely at times. I know Dad is healing us and in the mean time we are loving and BEING just where we are.
[…] For a view different than mine I share a blogpost by Dylan Morrison "Religious Attachments Again". […]
A couple of years ago as we were praying for the nation, (UK), God took our little group to Ezekiel’s valley of dry bones. This scripture is about God calling the Israelites out of the nations of their captivity and making them once again a nation under God and led by His Spirit.
As we prayed, the Lord started to draw a comparison between the Israelites being called out of the graves and the saints being called out of the churches. It may sound outrageous, but God wants his children back so he can Father them. They are God’s children, not the denomination, or pastor’s. Most Christian’s are clothed with their denomination’s cloak and not the Holy Spirit’s.
I believe that this is a prophetic picture of what God wants to do with the church today.
This post really resonates with me. I stopped attending the organized church of my childhood several years ago, and although I am much happier now with my relationship with my beloved Heavenly Father, I still miss and long for the fellowship that I used to share with fellow believers. I know that in my case “the road less traveled” is the right path – and reading your post and the comments of others who are on this road is comforting. Thank you.