When all is said and done, rivalry and inter-personal warfare are a tragic case of wasted energy and wasted lives. Following ego’s diktats to show the other what we’re made of is a descent into the abyss, that dark spiral of reciprocal attacks and character assassination. The demonisation of the other in an attempt to protect our sense of personal integrity and personhood promises much but is a psycho-spiritual cul-de-sac. For as we launch our first or second strikes of verbal or physical animosity our true Self only retreats back into the mists of ego, as we await the expected counter-attack.
Such games of destructive ping-pong only exhaust the limited supplies of energy that lie within our fragile psyche. At the end of it all we both lie exhausted in the wastelands of our our making. Two insecure and deeply unhappy souls who have nothing left to give. The reciprocal antagonism has taken its toll as darkness appears to win the day.
Thankfully though there is another way. We can protect our Selves from damage in three simple steps.
Firstly, we can realise that we are not our ego’s. There is much more to us than our shadow self, who masquerades as our be all and end all. No, we have a Self that flows from Source, the child of God within us that is fashioned for freedom and Divine connection. A timeless jewel, that lies behind the conscious mind, one that defines our very being and is beyond the reach of other. All wounding in inter-personal scuffles takes place on the sensitive plains of psyche, our space-time self. That’s where we feel the pain. But in spirit never.
Secondly, we can walk away. There is no need to wage war on the battlefields of ego. By detaching from the fight and simply withdrawing from the frenzied fury of other, we give ourselves space to refocus and reconnect with what’s really important, namely our core Self. In the heightened energies of the fray it’s almost impossible to stay free from ego’s reflex response. It’s part of our animal wiring. No, best to disconnect with all that being flung at us and find our Self in the depths Solitude, for it is there that we are loved unconditionally by Source. For some of us that may mean withdrawing physically from the scene of battle, or the ever-increasing acrimonious conversation that has ensued. Communication usually needs to be temporarily put on hold, if not permanently. In doing so we are doing our ‘opponent’ a favour by breaking the cycle of vicious engagement. They too, on our departure, will have the opportunity to reconnect with who they really are.
Thirdly, once we have settled into the calm of spirit Self, we can take the Divine option, namely to forgive our fellow combatant. To forgive is not to deny the hurt that their ego has caused us, but to supersede it by speaking words of release to their Higher Self, the divine spark within. For we are all dysfunctional, one no better than the other, yet ones with the same Spark within. To hold forgiveness back is to keep ourselves chained to the realm of ego and its deep angst, the pain of words spoken and actions received. In forgiving we are not letting the other off the hook, but letting our Self off the hook of victimhood, the moral high-ground that only results in continuing pain. No. in forgiving the other we are detaching at the level of wounded psyche and showing our Self great compassion. Once done, the Divine healing powers can begin to seal the cuts and bruises of our past piercings.
Knowing and living with other folk isn’t easy, particularly when we attempt to relate on the level of ego. It’s well nigh impossible. It’s on the heights of spirit that we can give and receive love, that therapeutic energy that flows from Source.
So let’s give up the fighting, no matter what the cause.