Under Fire!
Have you been under attack today? Not by some lone-wolf gunman from a distant shore, but by a friend, possibly even your nearest and dearest? I guess I’d better explain.
Have you experienced a quick shot across your bows in the form of a Will grenade. A short sharp attack of someone’s Will, exploding as a repremand or an unexpected withdrawal of love. Of course, Will is a great psychological gift, one that we’ve been equipped with to get ourselves out of tricky situations with one great leap. It’s a powerful escape hatch that we can open when under pressure. Yet, when under the control of ego, our wounded psyche-soul, it can be a vicacious and somewhat hyper-senstive weapon.
Will automatically kicks in when we feel endangered, and generally that’s a good thing. However, if our psychological settings are somewhat skewed it can become a trigger happy canon, one that regularly send blasts in the direction of those who sail close to us.
Those of us who are HSP’s or ‘highly sensitive persons’ are prone to to fire off more of these broadsides than the average guy or gal. Most of us have pretty thick skins, after years of bumping into all sorts of folk who threaten our inner equilibrium. HSPs on the otherhand, appear to have an extremely thin membrane separating them from the transmitted energies of passing psyches. This heightened sense of awareness is a great tool in interpersonal relationships as long as we’re tuned into our Core Self. Tuned into ego it’s highly dysfunctional, like some sort of over-excited fire alarm that goes off when there not even a whiff of smoke in sight.
Being an HSP isn’t easy. Yes, it’s usually a great blessing but at times it can also a millstone around our necks. It helps us to feel a great empathy with those who suffer alongside us, but it can also launch vicious attacks on those whom we love. The reason? Well, because the HSP is processing so much external and internal data at any given moment, their perception of what’s going on can be a little faulty. They see problems where none exist and take immediate action. Once the Will grenade is lobbed in the direction of another, the fog often lifts with the HSP seeing the error of their reactive ways. This can lead to much breast-beating and an immediate apology, though over time it can eat away at both the heart of the HSP and their unfortunate victim.
The key, I guess is to avoid the rush and pressure of life injected by ego into our inner world. Space and quiet reflection are the tools that keep our Will grenades under wraps until they are really required. Under the guidance and Presence of Spirit, Will can be the switch that removes us from genuine abuse via an energised escape rather than a violent first strike.
If you’re close to an HSP it can certainly feel like walking on eggshells. The trick is to give them an exaggerated amount of space, one bathed in reassurance and compassion. When attacked, don’t assume the worst and don’t strike back. To respond like for like only sends the HSP into a further tailspin of misperception. Rather, it’s usually best to see beyond the injustice of the immediate psycho-spiritual assault and take a few steps back into our pain free core Self where All is well. The HSP by their very nature will soon see the situation more clearly and return to a state of normal equilibrium, a place of safety where normal relations can be resumed.
Now, if we’re an HSP, it’s not easy, not easy at all. We are a microcosm of the Cosmos, for the potential to heal and the potential to wound both lie close at hand. Keeping ourselves out of pressured situations as much as possible definitely helps. Also realising that many of our perceived threats are merely products of our inner ego chatter, rather than objective realities can help us step back from the brink. Personally I’ve found walking in Nature is a great orderer of inner reality. Ego doesn’t seem to like a stroll in the woods. It much prefers to save the world with a crusading zeal that ultimately saves no one.
To sum up, compassion to Self and others is the great deactivator of our first strike policy. That and the Presence of Divine Love in the cauldron of our inner world.
So true Dylan. I live with a HSP and it’s challenging to say the least but so rewarding.
Wendy Mackenzie
Indeed Wendy. The yin and yang of HSPs is definitely character forming.
🙂 Dylan
This is very timely, Dylan. I shall reread and ponder. Thank you
I disagree. I am an HSP and this is not the M.O. for the vast majority of our kind. Rather we are sensitive to the barbs and undercuts of others who engage in the behaviors listed above. In fact in the three decades I have been alive I have always encountered the antisocial behaviors listed above not fro HSPs, but from insecure individuals and borderline sociopaths who seem to have an innate ability to sense my kind and subsequently attack the minute they think they’ve found a chink in the armor. Perhaps we are simply the product of our individual experiences, but I have met many other individuals who have had the exact same experience.
Not a problem Ryan. Each of our experiences is different. Certainly HSPs are the usual targets of hurtful words and attitudes that unaware folk toss in their direction. Yet, living in close proximity to one, I also notice that the pent up frustration at data overload and misperception at times can allow the old fight or flight syndrome to kick in. Some flee while others rage, albeit for a whirlwind moment. Compassion of course can deal with it all but at the time the response certainly packs a punch.
🙂 Dylan